Friday, March 26, 2010
On April 4th we will celebrate our 29th anniversary and less than 2 months after that we will be together 30 years. So I’ve decided to tell you just how this relationship all started.
We were both being prodded by our respective sets of parents to stop working on our careers (such as they were) and start thinking about our personal relationships. In “parent” terms, that meant we should find someone of the opposite gender and try having one.
My husband was managing movie theaters-this is way back when companies paid the managers a real salary and snack bar commission and not minimum wage. I was working on my broadcast news career at a truly embarrassing FM station, but I was on-air and writing so that was more than most in my graduating class.
My mother decided I should seek out a Jewish singles group in Los Angeles, as Orange County had very little to offer in that venue. So I found one that was just starting up and went to the first meeting.
It was decided that we would pair up “boy/girl” and each group would create a social event for the meetings. Lucky me, I got paired with a guy who seemed to think the world revolved around smoking pot. Just my style. Somehow we also were voted by everyone to do the first get-together. We had a month to prepare.
Since he lived in LA and I was over 50 miles away. We talked about it before we left and decided we’d split the names on the list in half and be responsible to call our part of the membership and give the details. Since it would be late May, we chose a popular park with baseball fields. It would be a baseball game and picnic.
I said I’d set up the picnic site and call my names if he would set up the ball field and his half of the list. We agreed to come early, he’d bring markers and I’d bring the butcher paper and make and hang the signs.
I did all of my work-he didn’t. We had no ball field and no sign. Eventually we found people and had only the picnic.
Going home was a long drive, giving me plenty of time to fume about the lackluster turn out. I decided I would call everyone on my list and apologize for what was probably a waste of their time and Sunday.
My husband’s name was on the list. His mom did her best to make me personally feel even worse, saying he gave up a trip to Las Vegas to come to the meeting. But that’s her style.
I finally got a hold of my husband and explained what had taken place. We talked about the group and decided to get together (on Father’s day no less) and discus whether this would be something we both would want to give another chance.
Essentially, we had set up our own blind date.
He drove all the way from Hollywood to pick me up at 3 p.m... He told his mom that if he liked how I looked, he’d bring me back for dinner. I think he decided if I could stand his family, I would be a keeper.
My mom started planning the wedding after meeting Steve.
We had dinner with his parents, sister and brother-in-law, grandmother, aunt and uncle.
From there he took me to “The Nude Bomb” movie. I guess he thought if he did his best to discourage my interest and I didn’t ask to be taken home, again, I was worth the risk. He didn’t make me sit through this Maxwell Smart disaster-Thank goodness!
After that pit stop we went to the valley to go to a comedy place. Again, the comedians were just awful. So we left. It was an 80 mile trip back to my parents’ house. We arrived about midnight.
I asked him to stay for coffee. He swears I made him the hottest cup he thought possible just to keep him there longer. Finally, at about 3 am-a mere 12 hours later, I said I was sorry, but I had to be up in 3 hours to get to the station.
We said good night. His parting words were “if you don’t hear from me by Wednesday, call my parents, because something will be very wrong”
He called Tuesday and asked me out for the next weekend.
A girlfriend called and asked how the blind date went. I told her I was going to marry this man.
There was silence on the phone.
My husband told his parents the same thing.
We didn’t even kiss until the third date. He proposed and I accepted on the fourth date.
Obviously it works and that’s a good thing. Because neither of us ever went back to the singles group again.