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Friday, March 11, 2011


A Brand New Suit

Anyone who has read my musings knows I hate shopping. If it has to do with anything other than food-I wait until the last possible moment before buying something I really, really need. And I pray that when I do have to go, I find something quick and get to leave the mall/store/etc. before I scream in disgust at the task at hand.

I knew way back last May I had to do it. I dawdled, I made excuses, pretended that the 2 items I had to replace weren’t all that important and then the worst-I pushed it out of my mind.

Last August, when we were exiled to living in the Residence Inn for 3 weeks, I found out I could use the pool there.

Except for one little pesky problem: I DIDN’T HAVE A FREAKIN’ BATHING SUIT!

Yes, both of my 20 year old beloved black suits simply fell apart after the “Grandma” cruise.

Sigh. I really loved those two suits. But alas, obviously they don’t make materials the way they should. Darn.

Since it was the end of the summer season-I thought to myself “hmm, who would have another black, one piece, gorgeous suit, in size 4-6 in August?”

I ran into our local TJMaxx and scoured the “last chance” rack. It wasn’t black, but it was a decent dark brown and a designer suit at that. The catch-size 0. Great, just great. But I tried it on and it fit like the proverbial glove. ½ a problem solved.

Bearing that in mind, I paid my $5 and split the scene of the crime.
But I wasn’t done. Nope, I had to find another one. I just told myself that I’d find one in the spring. After all, our anniversary cruise wasn’t until March 30th. So I had plenty of time to ignore the whole entire upcoming ordeal.

Why (I’m assuming you give a hoot) did I need two? I’ve learned through the years that when you’re going on a vacation where your entire daytime outfit is some kind of cover-up over a swimsuit that you really do need a change of “outfit”.

That said, my wonderful husband and I went out on his days off in search of my “change of outfit”. We started by going back to TJMaxx. I had such a quick experience that I wanted to see if I could re-create the brevity.

No such luck. They only had bikinis. Now my husband kept pushing for one of those. He maintained the obvious (and slightly skewed/near-sighted view) that since I weighed the same as I did 30 years ago that I’d look great in one.

I thanked him for the compliment and then said “honey, I am so NOT even going there. I don’t care what the circumstances are, no 53 year old woman should wear a bikini.”

We left, one of us rolling our eyes and the other still pleading the case that “less is more”.

Next, we stopped in at 2 sporting goods stores. While I won’t put on a whisper of a suit, I am not quite ready for the speedo grandma version of swim wear either. From those two stores we hit Kohl’s. Same story as the Maxx.

By this time, my minutely sore hip and neck (thanks to acupuncture) has scaled to “Hand me a flexeril and a tramadol. Plug up the whirlpool. I’m done for today.”

I started with the bath, took the meds and passed out.

Next day, hubby took me to JCPenny’s. There we found 2 fairly decent choices. They both looked good. I took the one that wasn’t made to “make you look a size smaller”. I don’t actually think I need that particular addition to a suit and I just knew that given the growing pain in my most offending and pain filled joints-it wasn’t such a good idea.

I also found a little black tee shirt dress.

The best part-both items were on sale for ½ off.

So I now have the required beach outfits, I’m good on formal and informal wear (thanks to power-walking and willpower those retro dresses look mahvelous darling) and I’m set on make-up.

My walking shoes need to be replaced. But I think I’ve done all the shopping I can stand for now.

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