Friday, June 08, 2012
Our daughter sent a picture of our 5-1/2 year old grandson Dylan to us-he was sitting by an adorable little girl. She’s got her head on his shoulder and is looking up at him with loving, googly eyes. He’s looking at the camera looking very pleased about both his “girlfriend” snuggling with him and getting a picture taken of the event.
Sarah said, “Since we went to Disney World last week and he got double-kissed by both Princesses Cinderella and Snow White he’s gotten the confidence to talk to girls.”
After the photo posted on FaceBook, I commented that I remember my own girl crazy 5 year old. Except he started at age 3. Yes, Adam and I took a couple of mommy and me pre-school classes together and he never missed a chance to walk up to a cutie and put his arm around her while asking, “So, how about we sit next to each other at snack time?”
Yes, confidence is a fantastic personality trait-no matter what your age.
When the confidence exudes from your child it’s a heart-warming feeling. You know they’ll be okay as long as they have that feeling of self-worth. It may wax and wane, it always does-but the fact that they start out with the feeling that they can be successful at things is a relief.
What I hope for both Dylan and Aidan is that they find confidence in not just the obvious of being able to attract and maintain relationships with members of the opposite sex, but in all areas of their existence.
Maybe this is the mom/grandma in me, but I’m hoping that while they love the girls they remain just my little love bugs for a good long while. Maybe until they at least graduate high school? Sigh.
Going back to other forms of confidence. As a parent, aunt and grandparent, my promise to myself is to show my various members of the younger clan that this word is easier to accomplish than they may think. What they need to remember that it is the “show” of confidence that future employers, friends and even possible mates will find most attractive.
And then there’s the difference that I hope they learn early in life between confidence and egotism.
We all know someone who exudes ego and actually has little to no worth. That’s not what I want for my kids. Of course, Sarah and Adam have confidence but I want them to keep it while realizing that to continue to stretch and grow, no matter their ages, is the only way to keep the good feeling and not becoming an egoist who just wants to say they are great.
They are 30 and 28 respectively, so I try to set by example. The same holds true for Dylan and Aidan and other future grandchildren.
My example in confidence? I had no idea I even had given it until Adam told me about a conversation he had with our younger nephew, Jonathon. He was going through a tough time and Adam, ever the psych major gave him this advice:
“You know, you need to go for whatever it is you want to be. You may not get to use it right away, but you need to be ready when the opportunity surfaces. Look at your aunt (me). She always wanted to be a journalist. Always. But she also wanted to be a great mom. So she tucked away her dreams after 3 years in the business and then, once I graduated-the first thing she did was start looking for ways and times to write. It didn’t matter how small, didn’t matter for what-just that she wanted to finally follow her dreams.
“Look at her now-she may not be getting enough to support herself, but she’s writing, she’s getting quite the following and she is always looking to try a different form and subject, all in the name of being a writer.”
Strange, when he told me what he did-it was I who felt a wave of new confidence.
And now, I will be out of touch until Father’s Day-Happy celebrating to all the grandpas and dads!