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Thursday, March 22, 2018


Not Sure I'm Ready

Not sure I'm ready to write on the subject of my mom yet.

A wonderful, formidable woman who made me looked laid back in the "control freak" arena, she put family first, always.

How many people can say they "graduated" from hospice because they wanted to care for their spouse suffering from Alzheimer's disease.  Yet that was my mom.  Mostly blind and hard of hearing, yet beautiful inside and out.  Obviously stubborn.

But at some point, no matter how stubborn you are and how strong you are when a body has had enough, it says, "sorry, you're simply not in charge of this part of life".

Because everyday was an extra blessing, we're okay with her passing.  She no longer has to worry about her stage 5 kidney disease, her heart condition or losing what was left of the little eye sight she had.  No more pain.  And I'm sure trying to keep my dad at home was exhausting.

You know what's been the worst?  Watching dad.  My poor sister and brother-in-law.  They had to bring him to the memory care place and leave.  As you can imagine, he's more than angry.  He also goes in waves of not remembering my mom is gone, to whimpering, crying and refusing to eat, drink, or even get dressed.

The staff is working on helping him adjust.  This poor sweet gentle man who has only been kind lost his only love, his home and his freedom in the blink of an eye.

Does put life into a whole other level of perspective, no?

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