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Thursday, July 27, 2017


Losing Control

When I broke my right foot almost 11 years ago, it was NOT fun.  I'm a bit of a control freak and suddenly I had to depend on both Steve and Adam to get me to and from work.  I had to learn how to ask for help-something that even on my worst unmedicated RA days I refused to do!  I was at the mercy of someone else to get me to where I needed to go, what I was eating (non-weight-bearing cast for 3 months) and even when household chores would be done.

I won't lie-all 3 of us had a bit of a problem during that first month learning that the household power had changed.  We all learned a lot!  I stopped needing to be in complete control and Steve learned how to shop and cook basic meals.  It actually did us a lot of good.

Now though, this bit of not only being quite sick but also dealing with the return of a lot of my RA symptoms is really getting me to feel quite frustrated and overwhelmed.

What used to be my usual morning without a single thought-now requires rest and extra time.  I have to rely on Steve and the kids to take me for my various appointments and then let the doctors order whatever they now need and endure the procedures.

And then we finally had to admit that our 14 year old love bug Pepper was going to need more than pain meds to get him through the day.

Sigh.  Just what we needed.  He has never used anything but his litterbox, but the pain in his teeth have him "showing" us on various mats throughout the house that he's not well.  So Steve took him in this morning for a minimum of 3 teeth extractions (he had 6 done about 10 years ago).  The girls aren't taking his absence well!  He's only been going and hour and they've been sitting at the door he went out of and whining.

Animals are way more caring and smart than we give them credit for.

And then there's the by-products of what our health insurance said it covers.  We started receiving notices of what possible charges will be for my 4 day stay in the less than posh local in-network hospital.  It was explained to me that only the "stay" is covered, that yes, I will be receiving bills from the doctors for services rendered.  Great.  So far, we now know that our expected share is upward of about $1,500.  I guess that's not so bad when you think of all that was done to me and for that many days.

I just wish that now that I've been home for over 2 weeks I could say I'm feeling well.  I hate sick, I hate being reliant on others and intruding on their lives-but this is the way it is for now.

My best guess is that I'll just have to "suck it up buttercup" and forge ahead.

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