Friday, May 11, 2007
This year my mom is hosting a buffet dinner in her home for our now 3 generations.
There's my mom and my mother-in-law followed by my sister, my daughter's mother-in-law and me, then there's my daughter. It's a special one for her, since this is her first.
My mom. what can I say that could possibly describe what an incredible woman she is?
Through her I've become who I am. Quite frankly, I've come to like how I've turned out. If someone were to ask me what my attributes are I'd say: loving, loyal, logical, determined and realistically optimistic. I try to add a good sense of humor and caring into the pot whenever possible. Okay, I'm as stubborn as a mule, but alas, that's okay with me too.
Mom has instilled in me the importance of self-reliance. Which I, in turn, did my best to hand down to my off-spring.
The greatest gift a mother can give to her children is to make them realize their worth. It takes a while . The teen years are filled with turbulence and raging hormones, so as mothers we try to forget them and push forward and through the lessons that we deem necessary.
I feel my mom made me strong enough to get past some fairly awful stuff: My husband almost dying shortly after our 10th anniversary, the ensuing emotional turmoil it took on us as a family and as individuals. Our daughter's extremely hard adolescence and our son's bouts of serious medical problems. There were also those years of my own medical descent and remission. Without her teachings, I might well have gone "missing in action". Yet, I got through it all, not always standing mind you or without some assistance, but make it I did.
Now our daughter is having her first Mother's Day. Wow Hard to believe, but oh so true.
I know that I've given her that sense of worth (sometimes, as with all of us, it wavers)-she told me so.
We were at dinner, just the two of us, when she said, "You know mom, I could never understand why you hated me. I couldn't believe I was so awful that you wouldn't do anything for me and made me do it for myself. I had to talk to my teachers, take the lumps for my decisions, buy my own car and other stuff. Everyone else seemed to be given whatever they wanted You made me work for it.Now I realize you were doing it to make me be able to do things for myself. To be able to stand strong no matter what kind of "____" life tossed at me. And I can."
What I'm saying is-for me I don't need or want flowers, fancy meals or presents that come in a fancy bag or box, finding out I've succeeded in my most important job is the best thing in the world.
Mom taught me that as well.
Self-reliance is so important a lesson in these days of instant gratification and its unfortunate companion--instant credit card debt. A mother who nurtures frugality and self-reliance in her offspring will find adult children who are successful and happy in life. My two cents.
I know you will have a wonderful Mother's Day celebration tomorrow. I think the most important thing you can do is teach your kids to be self-reliant.
I know some people think I'm a tad hard on the grandkids, because they have their chores, do their own laundry, sort and fold clothes, vacuum and are learning how to cook...but one day I hope they will be self-reliant.
We do have a lot of fun times as well.
All a mother really wants is for her children to be happy, productive and giving, kind people...then her job is done!
I still don't clean house very well, but I attribute that to having been Cleopatra in another life. ;)
nuf said. she's now made sure to have my niece and nephew have daily and weekly chores!