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Friday, June 08, 2007



June means summer is approaching. Along with new season many young people are graduating from High School and College, therefore starting new lives.

I'm going to pare this vast group down to a single graduate-our son Adam. He's about to receive his Bachelor's degree from University of California, Irvine.

While I've written about our wonderful daughter on many occasions-Adam has somehow slipped under the radar save one column (look in the archives for "Mrs. Cleaver, I presume") and a brief allusion in another.

Since he's embarking on another phase of his young adult life (he's 23)-it's time to let him, and others, know how I feel about him. He knows I love him, dearly. Does he know how proud of him I am? Does he know how I admire his ability to stand up for himself and his use of common sense?

Our son has always been in a rush. He kicked his way into this world almost 7 weeks early. I say kicking, because just before his 5th birthday he went with a neighbor boy (who just became a dad) to watch his soccer game. He came home so excited and declared "That's what I'm going to be, a soccer man"!

And he was-he had found his passion. He played from then right on through high school. He stopped his first two years of college, but missed it so that he joined a fraternity to play on their rec team.

Adam has worked full-time and kept a 3.0 and sometimes above average during these 5 years. He has had his heart broken twice, become a devoted uncle and found himself his first post college job.

Now I'm not fond of his love of tattoos (again, read "Mrs.Cleaver, I presume), but it is his body and outside of that he exercises, watches his nutrition and takes care of all it's needs.

Going back to my real train of thought-I am PROUD of this handsome man. He's ambitious, caring, hard-working, family orientated, honest (he would and still does tattle on himself)and yet, that said, he is and always will be my baby boy.

When he graduated High School-I cried, buckets. Not at the ceremony, but on and off the preceding week I was a case of waterworks. For some reason I was more nostalgic than at his sister's ceremony. I was happy she could move on to a better experience.

This time though, it is he who has realized that things are changing in a very big way.
We talk, my son and I, not as much as we had the time to do a few years ago, but we talk, always have.

Last week, he came home looking sad. I asked him the usual questions. He realized that even though he hasn't loved his present job, that it was time to leave. His internship was over, his last term paper turned in. Only the finals remained left to do. "Nothing will be the same, and I don't know if the job I accepted is for me. I'm kind of scared."

I wanted to hug my 5'10" son and assure him everything would be wonderful. But I resisted, I've never lied. Not hugging him was difficult. I realized he was right. Ever the teacher, I simply said "Things always change-think of this not as an end of going to school, but as a new and more exciting classroom".

With that he went off to his last fraternity meeting. I gave him my perennial "stay safe and have fun"

So Adam, this is from Mom:

May your new phase of life bring you all the joy you have brought and will continue to bring me.
Forgive me if this time I cry at your graduation ceremony. They are going to be tears of profound hope and happiness

Awesome advice for Adam and he sounds like an awesome son. The more you can accept change, the more exciting life will be. And, btw, I'll always have a special place in my heart for UC-Irvine - had an old boyfriend who went there. :)
I hope he reads it! I'll print it out and leave it on his bed.
Carine, You summed up the true feelings of every mother at this great time in her child's life! Just knowing how proud you are brought tears to my eyes!! i love your post...Congratualtions to Adam, I am sure he will be happy and wishes for a great future to him.
thank you summer. It is going to be quite a emotional day

This is such a lovely tribute to your son. I also never seem to worry about my daughter, but my "baby boy"--well, that's a different story. Why is that?

Congratulations to Adam on a major acheivement in his life. He should be very proud of himself! He sounds like a great kid!
thank you Lisa, I even e-mailed the column to him. Hopefully he'll read it today. He's so busy studying for finals!
Sounds a lot like my son. He's been a big soccer fan and player since he was seven. And he just graduated about a year ago. Doesn't have any tattoos, though. But his girlfriend has two so I guess that provides some balance there.
it must Dave, his girlfriend doesn't have one. she's a great girl.
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