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Saturday, September 16, 2006
Learning to let go
I am a control freak.
Admitting this is absolutely no problem for me, it's a personality trait that I make sure and warn people about if we are working together on almost any level. It's only fair.
To be happy and calm, I organize things the way I need them to be so they make sense for the way life plays out in my existence.
I bring this up because I am having trouble with this broken foot thing. Since this accident, I have had to release my control and hand it over to several others who have always been very happy to let me take the helm. Namely my significantly patient other half (I have not been the easiest of patients), our son (he has had to arrange his limited free time to help out), my co-workers and even my furry children (meal times and walks are no longer part of the things I can do) have had to make adjustments to accommodate me.
Letting others do for me is difficult. I like to pick out my own fruits and vegetables. Cooking is a pleasure for me, not a chore. Power-walking with my beloved Labrador mix has never been a bugaboo, it's a recreation that is just as much a part of me as breathing. So handing over the reins on these activities is making me very cranky.
Okay, it's also probably the 5 pound hot pink weight on my right foot and the damn (pardon the language) walker that has added way more pain than I would like to various joints, but I believe I'm making a point: I do not like having others do "my job"!
Plus, I am finding that, similar to when I was pregnant, many strangers come up to me and tell me their experiences of horror with the "same injury". One lady even told me to just go back to the doctor and insist on taking off the cast and tell him to let me wear a tight tennis shoe and I'd be fine, "look at me, I'm perfectly normal".
And then, she shut the heavy bathroom door to the outside world, so I had to open it while balancing on the walker!
There was also the comments of passersby about a "woman that age wearing a bright pink cast"
Excuse me! This came from two women about 20 years older than me wearing low-riding, sequin embellished jeans! Talk about calling the kettle black!
It's very hard on another plane, I thought once my RA (rheumatoid arthritis) was under control, I would never have to be "out of control" again, so I'm very sure this is playing a big part of my uncertainty about what life will be like in the next couple of months.
However, since I have no choice, I guess I'll learn to let go.
Admitting this is absolutely no problem for me, it's a personality trait that I make sure and warn people about if we are working together on almost any level. It's only fair.
To be happy and calm, I organize things the way I need them to be so they make sense for the way life plays out in my existence.
I bring this up because I am having trouble with this broken foot thing. Since this accident, I have had to release my control and hand it over to several others who have always been very happy to let me take the helm. Namely my significantly patient other half (I have not been the easiest of patients), our son (he has had to arrange his limited free time to help out), my co-workers and even my furry children (meal times and walks are no longer part of the things I can do) have had to make adjustments to accommodate me.
Letting others do for me is difficult. I like to pick out my own fruits and vegetables. Cooking is a pleasure for me, not a chore. Power-walking with my beloved Labrador mix has never been a bugaboo, it's a recreation that is just as much a part of me as breathing. So handing over the reins on these activities is making me very cranky.
Okay, it's also probably the 5 pound hot pink weight on my right foot and the damn (pardon the language) walker that has added way more pain than I would like to various joints, but I believe I'm making a point: I do not like having others do "my job"!
Plus, I am finding that, similar to when I was pregnant, many strangers come up to me and tell me their experiences of horror with the "same injury". One lady even told me to just go back to the doctor and insist on taking off the cast and tell him to let me wear a tight tennis shoe and I'd be fine, "look at me, I'm perfectly normal".
And then, she shut the heavy bathroom door to the outside world, so I had to open it while balancing on the walker!
There was also the comments of passersby about a "woman that age wearing a bright pink cast"
Excuse me! This came from two women about 20 years older than me wearing low-riding, sequin embellished jeans! Talk about calling the kettle black!
It's very hard on another plane, I thought once my RA (rheumatoid arthritis) was under control, I would never have to be "out of control" again, so I'm very sure this is playing a big part of my uncertainty about what life will be like in the next couple of months.
However, since I have no choice, I guess I'll learn to let go.
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Being a control freak is not that great sometimes! you usually end up doing EVERYTHING yourself! assigning things you "have" to do is a big relief, but assigning things you like doing to others is sometimes a bit hard...but i tell you, i think you should enjoy your time "off" and take a break although it is forced upon you! i am sure things will be going just right for you once you take the hot pink cast off!! take it easy and i feel for you Carine!
Thank you summer-you are so right about it not being a great thing. the men and I are really learning so much about how we've been living our lives. I think this will finally give all of us the changes we've been needing.
I have learned that being in control all of the time is not a good thing. Others forget we in control types have needs, feelings and desires. To remind them that we are only mortal humans, as they are, it is good to balance the scales once in a while. Now...in a bright pink cast, that's even better.
I believe things happen for a reason, and while I am very sorry you have to suffer so, I can only believe that one day you will look back and see the reason with perfect clarity. In fact, I think you may already have a good view.
Ciao bella...have a great week.
I believe things happen for a reason, and while I am very sorry you have to suffer so, I can only believe that one day you will look back and see the reason with perfect clarity. In fact, I think you may already have a good view.
Ciao bella...have a great week.
thanks Teri, yes, this home is learning alot. I am not criticizing, just happy that the 2 of them are getting meals on the table and the basics done. They are also finding that they have relied way too heavily on me and that they should have been pitching in the entire time. Especially since I had asked them too.
Carine,
Nothing is harder for a woman than to give up control of her household. Try to view the situation for what it is: temporary! You'll come back with a stronger attitude and your family will gain a different perspective towards all of the things that you are responsible for in life!
Nothing is harder for a woman than to give up control of her household. Try to view the situation for what it is: temporary! You'll come back with a stronger attitude and your family will gain a different perspective towards all of the things that you are responsible for in life!
that's what I've been thinking. as a former teacher, I figure everything in life is a lesson. I'm learning to turn the other cheek and my husband and son are learning I'm not invincible!
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